Social distancing vs social isolation vs turning away/ignoring

As a therapist, I am having conversations daily about the current health crisis. The discussions range from confusion and fear or anger and a sense of one’s rights being taken away to a cavalier or ambivalent attitude that “this can’t happen to me.”

I have many clients who feel the media is trying to create panic. I have clients who feel they are young and healthy and therefore don’t need to worry and can continue to go about their usual business. And then there are the ones paralyzed with fear and anxiety that this is the end of the world.

I try to bring balance, understanding and a sense of urgency to the conversation without creating panic. I try to help them to understand that this crisis is not about individuals but about communities – local, regional, national AND international. This is a global issue. This is not individual rights – i.e. “it’s my spring break I should travel if I want to!” “it’s not fair that my classes, trip, party, sport, event, etc, got cancelled.”

The majority of my clients are young (18 – 30) and in good health and remind me “I’m not worried about catching this.” A few are anxious that it will kill them or someone they love. 

I find myself trying to explain the goal of social distancing is not to “ruin their lives” but to save lives — many lives. The goal is to have less social contact so that there is less opportunity to spread the disease. The goal is to prevent the possibility of someone who is young and healthy from becoming a carrier of the virus. The goal is to contain the virus where it is and not bring it back to every community. The goal is to attempt to reduce the possibility of thousands of people becoming ill at the same time, because if we achieve this most important goal than our healthcare system won’t be overwhelmed and people will be able to receive proper treatment.

I remind my clients that staying away from crowds does not mean they need to completely isolate. That they can go outside on a nice day and have a walk. That they can and should utilize technology to see friends via video rather than travel across town in public transportation to visit a friend in person. 

Most importantly, I emphasize the importance of not turning away from others or ignoring them. To be mindful that if they have a neighbor who is a member of the high risk, vulnerable population to offer to venture out to the store for that person and drop the package by their front door or deliver a meal. This situation is not about “every man for himself.” This situation is about protecting the community as a whole and remembering to help those in the community who may need the young and healthy to offer assistance and support.

The reality is we need to stay physically distant from others while finding ways to stay socially connected. When we are connected we think about others rather than just ourselves. We remember we are part of a community and right now remembering we are staying home in an attempt to help our communities and the healthcare workers who serve them.

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